Mood: Blergh
(Naming emotions that I don't know what to call is what I consider to be one of my coping mechanisms. It helps, I think, to give labels to emotions that I can't describe. Mini posts like this will be labelled Mood: blank. Sorry it's different from all the other stuff I post here.)
Waking up in the morning feeling blergh often means that you will go to bed feeling blergh too.
It's slightly worse than numbness, and it isn't indifferent.
Feeling blergh means dragging yourself through a day. It feels like trudging through muck, your boots so heavy and thick with dirt that you just want to give up walking.
You feel bad, but you don't know what kind of bad. It's not anxiety. It's not sadness. It's just that everything is murky, and every emotion resembles a dull throb.
Anxiety is a sharp emotion. It pricks, and it stabs.
Sadness is a hot, suffocating emotion. It aches your heart, and feels like drowning.
Blergh is not anything. Blergh is a dull punch to the gut, whose pain stays with you.
Every single clink of a spoon is frustrating. Every word out of a person's mouth just makes you want them to stop talking. Every single footstep, every single breath, every single tap, it's all just too much, too much, too much-
The frustration that follows is familiar, at least.
But you don't understand why you feel frustrated, and that only adds another layer of frustration, before you swallow it all down.
You're nauseous. Not in your stomach, but in your head.
Blergh is not a nice emotion.
But it'll pass, you tell yourself. Because it always does.
Waking up in the morning feeling blergh often means that you will go to bed feeling blergh too.
It's slightly worse than numbness, and it isn't indifferent.
Feeling blergh means dragging yourself through a day. It feels like trudging through muck, your boots so heavy and thick with dirt that you just want to give up walking.
You feel bad, but you don't know what kind of bad. It's not anxiety. It's not sadness. It's just that everything is murky, and every emotion resembles a dull throb.
Anxiety is a sharp emotion. It pricks, and it stabs.
Sadness is a hot, suffocating emotion. It aches your heart, and feels like drowning.
Blergh is not anything. Blergh is a dull punch to the gut, whose pain stays with you.
Every single clink of a spoon is frustrating. Every word out of a person's mouth just makes you want them to stop talking. Every single footstep, every single breath, every single tap, it's all just too much, too much, too much-
The frustration that follows is familiar, at least.
But you don't understand why you feel frustrated, and that only adds another layer of frustration, before you swallow it all down.
You're nauseous. Not in your stomach, but in your head.
Blergh is not a nice emotion.
But it'll pass, you tell yourself. Because it always does.
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